#88

Letter to a friend.

I wish I could soften the blow for you. So that I could tell you that it isn't as painful, scary, uncertain as it seems – but the truth of it is that it’s all that and more. Otherwise people wouldn't call it love.

                I want to shelter you because for the last year and so I feel like I have been riding this rollercoaster with you. I've been the voice you can turn to when you can't decide what to do, the advice I hope in some ways helps even if you don’t take it. The truth is only you know what will work best for you. And if it’s the wrong thing than at least you know you tried and work out ways that will.

                To love someone so wholly is a curse and a blessing. It is the emotion that makes you smile at the sound of his name being mentioned and the sinking feeling when you fight. It's that need to do whatever you can for that person to make them happy, even if at times you feel like it's not making you as such. If there was any way to decide how much or how little we want to be affected by all this emotion, I’m sure we would take the good and never the bad. Yet I guess that is what being human is about. Feeling everything so strongly that it consumes us, makes us wonder what we ever could do without them.

                Pandora let out all the ‘evils’ in the world but if lust comes with love then it is our biggest weakness. We just have hope left and it is that alone which gives us the ability to rise after the fall, to continue day to day knowing that somewhere down the line things will get better. We just have to believe that hope doesn’t paralyse us in the process and hold us in that state of believing a little while longer that the love we are feeling isn’t gone for good.

                I don't need to tell you that I won't be here for you, to talk, to listen, vent even plot against. But at the end of the day the only person who has to be happy with your decisions is yourself.